New boyfriend doesn’t care for my kids and I feel like a single mum

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE completely gone off my partner. He does nothing to help with our five-month-old baby, or anything else for that matter. I’m tempted to cheat.

We’ve been together for three years. He’s 31 and I’m 29. I already have two boys with my ex and our new baby girl wasn’t planned.

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My partner seemed happy to take on the role of a family man but it now looks like he’s gone off the idea.

He stays in bed half the day while I do the school run, housework and everything else.

I feel like a single mum with a lodger – one who is not even pleasant or grateful.

He puts me down all the time and when I make myself pretty, he says I look ugly and cheap.

I now want to leave but I can’t because of my boys and our new baby.

There is a man who I see down the pub who I’ve known for years.

He makes me laugh and always makes me feel good about myself.

I know there won’t be a relationship between us but the lust is taking over so badly, he’s all I can think about now.

DEIDRE SAYS: I get why you want the distraction. An affair might be fun but it wouldn’t put right the core part of your life you are unhappy about. You need to address that.

As a mother, you must think more of your children and what is best for them.

Your partner is being abusive, which is bad for you and bad for your children to see.

If he is not willing to think about you or to work as a team, probably he is the one who should leave.

Start by talking to Family Lives, which will help you work out what is best for you all (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).

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