Leicester 2-1 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of Jelly Belly flavors
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Football is like a bag of mixed jelly beans. When I was but a young whippersnapper of a lad, well before I made my foray into becoming an Online Commenter-American, I used to bike the 1.5 miles from my house to the local mall to kill time whenever I got bored. There, in between games of Super Mario Brothers and Punch-Out! in the small arcade, I would spend some of my hard-earned allowance money for a white paper bag “filled” with a whopping 1⁄4 pound of Jelly Belly jelly beans, evenly split between Toasted Marshmallow and some minty blue bean whose name I can’t remember and which has long since been discontinued.
To overuse and oversimplify an allegorical trope, football is like a bag of mixed Jell...