My girlfriend has never had an orgasm and it’s putting me off sex
DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend has never experienced an orgasm with me and it has really dented my ego.
I’m a guy of 35 and she’s 31.
She says she’s never had an orgasm with anyone.
We’ve tried different toys and she enjoys it but that is as far as it goes.
If we have full sex, I have to stop after a while because it hurts her.
If I give her oral sex, she says it “gets too much”.
I don’t know what that means . . . and she says she doesn’t either.
It has started to affect my sex drive, as I don’t think I am satisfying her.
An orgasm for her would be the icing on the cake for me.
DEIDRE SAYS: Penetrative sex doesn’t work for everyone and most women need stimulation of the clitoris to experience an orgasm.
When you have oral sex, you may be focusing on the part of her body which gives extra pleasure but it is such a sensitive area that lots of attention can feel rough or overwhelming.
Words are among the best foreplay. Encourage her to give you feedback when you have sex.
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She can say faster or slower, more pressure or less pressure, so you learn about what feels good for her and she learns to take responsibility for her own sexual satisfaction.
My e-leaflet called Women And Orgasm will help you both.
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