DEAR DEIDRE: I LOVE my fiancé but I had a drunken fling with his brother – and I can’t stop meeting him in secret.
My boyfriend is the best man ever. He loves me and treats me like a princess.
We have been together for four years and are both 24.
Last year he took me away for a romantic weekend in Paris and proposed to me there.
I accepted straight away. We get on well with each other’s families and are planning to get married in two years.
His parents celebrated their silver wedding anniversary two months ago and held a party for everyone at a big hotel.
It was a great evening. The food was lovely and there was plenty of alcohol.
Halfway through the do I knew that I’d had too much to drink and decided to go for a lie-down.
My fiancé was dancing with his mother and I didn’t want to interrupt them, so I just slipped out of the room.
I found our bedroom and as I walked in, I realised my fiancé’s brother was following me.
He said he was worried about me and just wanted to be sure I got to my room safely.
I almost fell on to the bed. Then, and I don’t know why, I pulled him down on to the bed with me.
We started kissing and ended up having sex and it was the best ever. He is 22 and single.
He told me afterwards that he has always fancied me — from the first time he met me. But I said I loved my fiancé and it must never happen again. I really meant it at the time but I can’t stop thinking about him.
We started messaging each other and this has led to us meeting regularly and having sex.
He says he loves me and I do not know what to do.
ONE in three adults in the UK drinks enough alcohol to be at risk of developing health problems, but many struggle to cut down.
My e-leaflet Drink Problem? explains self-help tactics and support.
For a copy, email me at problems@deardeidre.org or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
DEIDRE SAYS: You are playing with fire. If you carry on with this fling, someone will find out sooner or later.
You would almost certainly lose your fiancé and their whole family will be ripped apart.
Sharing secret sex is very different from day-to-day life and a committed relationship. I know the brother says he loves you but in the face of trouble in the family there is no guarantee that he will genuinely want anything permanent with you.
You say you love your fiancé, so at least give your relationship a chance before killing it off.
Can you think what made you vulnerable to this fling? Had your sex life got rather dull?
Stop meeting his brother and work on the weak points.
If you cannot sort things out with him, best stay away from both brothers, at least for a while. Take time to be single before moving on to a new relationship, whoever it is with.
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