DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD a raunchy night of sex with my girlfriend, her sister and two friends. It was amazing but I can’t even look at her now.
I’m 22 and my girlfriend is 29. Although she is a bit older she is stunning-looking and really fit too.
This particular night my girlfriend’s sister and two of her friends came over for a takeaway. They are all in their mid-twenties and single at the moment but they are all gorgeous.
We had a few glasses of wine and the chat got around to relationships and sex. I was quite taken aback at how open they were being about it all.
I was really turned on just listening to them. I jokingly said I bet they hadn’t had sex with lots of people at the same time and they all said they hadn’t.
One of the friends suggested we give it a go.
I thought she was joking at first but she insisted she was up for it. After another couple of drinks I was beginning to warm to the idea and my girlfriend was too.
We all agreed it would be a laugh and before I had really even taken a decision we had all stripped off.
We had an amazing night and all had sex together several times. We did things I have only ever dreamed about doing in the past. I know lots of men would envy me.
Afterwards we all cuddled up together on our bed upstairs and fell asleep.
We all looked a bit embarrassed in the morning but had coffee and made a few uneasy jokes. I’ve felt worse and worse since.
Two weeks have passed and I can’t even look at my girlfriend any more. She makes me feel dirty and I don’t trust her now.
I have been checking her texts and social media, something I’d never have done before.
I have thought about finishing it but we have been together for two years and have been so special to one another.
SEXUAL happiness increases the more sex you have, up to a point.
More than once a week doesn’t make you happier – but less than once a week can cause problems.
My leaflet Saving Your Sex Life can help. Email the address below of message me on Facebook.
For a copy, email me at problems@deardeidre.org or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
DEIDRE SAYS: You were asking for trouble as soon as you involved outsiders in your sex life.
What starts out as being a bit of fun often results in real pain and lasting resentment.
You had all been drinking but it lowered barriers that will not be easy to replace. Don’t let your thoughts fester and affect your relationship.
Talk to your girlfriend about the feelings this has brought up.
It sounds as though you may have realised she is more special to you than just being a stunning-looking partner, so tell her that.
Say you’d prefer to keep sexual fun just between the two of you.
The main issue is to rebuild the trust between you and your girlfriend, refresh your sex life and strengthen your relationship.
My e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex can help – the ideas are all for two.
Got a problem? Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.
