I have just discovered that my husband has a secret son aged ten

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE just discovered that my husband has a secret son and has been paying child maintenance for the past ten years.

I’m 48 and my husband is 49. We have two grown-up daughters. He had a letter from the Child Support Agency ten years ago saying he was the father of a baby boy.

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He denied it and said he would sort it.

Now it turns out that he’s had a separate bank account for all these years to pay maintenance. I found out from a bank statement I wasn’t supposed to see.

What the hell do I do now? My stomach is in knots. I know he has responsibilities but he’s paid out endless thousands of our money and he won’t even talk about it.

DEIDRE SAYS: What a horrible shock. Your husband clearly feels very guilty – and has done all along, hence the secrecy.

Your best chance of getting back on an even keel is for him to be honest with you now.

Your issue is the affair that led to his son. He has to pay the money by law.

And brace yourself that your daughters may be very keen to meet this half-brother – there is a little boy here who needs all the love he can get.

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