DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I was a baby, my birth mother gave me away.
She said it was only going to be a short-term thing while she sorted her life out, but she never came back to get me.
Now, more than 60 years on, she denies my very existence.
My mother gave me to a woman who never adopted me formally and resented being landed with me.
My adoptive mum told me my mother was with a US serviceman the day she gave me away and now I’ve traced her to the States.
She has three more children. I made contact but she denies all knowledge of my birth.
I have never asked for anything other than DNA tests.
What can I do to make my birth mother accept I am her son and answer the questions I’ve had all my life?
DEIDRE SAYS: I am so sorry you had such an unhappy start in life.
It is heart-breaking that your birth mother is refusing to acknowledge her past.
You can’t force her to agree to DNA tests but please remember she gave you up because of her own circumstances rather than wanting to reject you.
PAC-UK help anyone with adoption issues (pac-uk.org, 020 7284 5879).
Got a problem? Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
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