I am a girl and whenever my brothers are around I become invisible to my mum

DEAR DEIDRE: WHENEVER my brothers are around I become invisible to my mum.

Again, this evening we were sat watching a film but when the boys came in she ignored me.

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I am a girl of 20 and my brothers are aged 18 and six. I have never had much in common with Mum and find it hard to talk to her, yet she always chats and laughs with the boys.

If I walk out of the room none of them even notice that I have gone.

I have asked Mum if we can try harder with one another, but she still drifts towards the boys.

I do try hard. I take care of my little brother when my step-dad is at work and I clean the house.

I make out that I don’t care about it and act all tough, but inside I am hurt.

I went to my room this evening and started crying and then had a panic attack.

DEIDRE SAYS: How your mum behaves towards you probably mirrors her feelings about herself.

I expect she was raised to see men as being more important.

Chat to your mum about when she was a girl and the attitudes in her family towards the sexes.

Afterwards she is more likely to be sensitive to how damaging her attitude is.

The stress of holding on to strong emotions can trigger panic attacks.

My e-leaflet on Coping With Panic Attacks will help.

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