DEAR DEIDRE: I’M having mind-blowing sex and lots of fun with a girl I met online – but what do I do about my wife?
I’ve been married for seven years. I am 30 and my wife is 29. We both have good careers and chose not to have children — yet, at least.
But we’re in a rut — we hardly speak any more, don’t spend time together and are just going through the motions. Our sex life is non-existent.
I’ve tried to tell my wife how I feel but to no avail.
I booked a nice holiday to see if the spark was still there but it had fizzled out long ago.
Last month I started looking at dating sites, just out of curiosity, and met my other woman.
We are opposites in many ways but also have so many similarities it is uncanny.
She is 33 and single, with a great body. I couldn’t believe my luck. We talked for hours and she knows I’m married.
We first met at a pub outside town. The attraction between us was obvious, so we went back to her flat and had fantastic sex.
I thought it would be a one-off. She’s a career girl, though, and is happy to keep meeting for no-strings sex.
The friendship I’ve discovered with her is brilliant.
We talk every day by email and FaceTime and have unbelievable sex whenever we meet up.
I know it’s wrong but I will not lie to myself about my feelings. I feel this new woman is for me.
Or is it just the thrill of the new? I feel something for my wife but it’s not love. So do I throw it all away for my lover? Or should I just try to rekindle the love I once had for my wife?
ONE in ten men think they don’t last long enough in bed.
Some guys have unrealistic expectations, as the average is five to seven minutes.
But if it really is all over after just a minute or two, my e-leaflet on Self-Help For Premature Ejaculation can help
DEIDRE SAYS: No-strings sex is very different from a committed relationship. You’re having lots of fun meeting up for secret sex with this woman but you might run into all sorts of problems with her if you tried to settle down together.
She has chosen to be single so far and maybe that is what suits her.
You owe it to your wife and yourself at least to give your marriage your best shot before you write it off – and something more in-depth than just a quick holiday.
You’ve tried talking to her but it’s fallen on deaf ears.
So take the bull by the horns and tell your wife your marriage is close to collapse. Either you both make a serious effort to revive the spark or you’re heading for divorce.
My e-leaflet Your Relationship MOT will help.
Meanwhile, take a break from your fling, at least until you’re a free agent.
Even then, don’t rush it. Jumping from one relationship to another rarely works.
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