I want to reignite the spark with my wife after losing all feeling in my penis

DEAR DEIDRE: MY sex life plummeted after I lost all feeling in my penis.

I’m 55 and can only enjoy some level of sexual relief through masturbation.

But it takes me so long that I’m often there for what seems like hours.

Over the years, I’ve struggled with my mental health, but this year I reached my lowest point and I’m now on anti-depressants. One of the side-effects was a decreased libido, and I couldn’t get an erection any more.

Now my sex life has completely stopped. My 50-year-old wife and I have been married for 30 years, and we’ve always had a brilliant love life.

My wife insists that she doesn’t mind not having sex if it means that my health is better – she doesn’t want to see me go through depression again. But I miss the closeness and intimacy we once shared.

Sharing a bed and having a kiss is lovely, but it’s not curbing my appetite.

I want to show my wife how much I love her, yet I can’t any more.

We’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to work except for masturbating on my own.

I went through some counselling to explore my feelings more, which ended up helping, but I still have to use my medication to ensure I don’t get low again.

Now I’m worried my sex life is over and that my wife may soon grow tired of our sexless marriage. How can I reignite the spark for us?

DEIDRE SAYS: Looking after your mental health is the most important thing.

Unfortunately, anti-depressants can cause low libido, but given you can get an erection and want to be intimate, advice from a visit to the GP may benefit you.

They may be able to alter your medication or offer you some more help on this issue.

What’s clear is that things are still working physically, as you can masturbate.

You can also still be intimate with your wife without having intercourse.

This could be done through oral sex or massage, for example.

In the meantime, my support pack Find It Hard To Climax can help you at this time.