WHETHER it’s caused by cheating, parenting, financial woes or simply just run its course – it’s a sad fact nearly half of all marriages reportedly end in divorce.
A new poll reveals that most take place after seven years with Generation X couples – those now aged between 44 and 59 – splitting up at an average age of 43.9, the study suggests.
But while we’re generally aware of the main causes of relationship breakdowns, it’s not always a huge dramatic row that signals the end.
In fact, while people can just simply fall out of love, there are far more subtle signs you might be creeping towards divorce.
Here, Intimacy Coach and relationship expert Holly Robinson shares the pivotal points her clients have said were the moments they knew their marriage was over, and the signs you may be experiencing ‘divorce creep’ yourself…
“We were on holiday and the children went to kids club.
“It was when I was left alone with my wife I realised how utterly boring she was.
“The silence felt unbearable.”
Holly says: “Feeling uncomfortable during moments of solitude, such as a child-free evening or a date night with little conversation, can be a sign.
“If the thought of spending time alone together is more daunting than exciting, this discomfort warrants attention.
“Enjoyable alone time should generally be a positive aspect of a relationship.”
“I can’t orgasm unless I am thinking about someone else.”
Holly says: “Intimacy issues may arise when sex becomes a mere physical act devoid of emotional connection.
“In successful long-term relationships, there’s a balance between love and desire.
“If both are missing, it’s crucial to establish true intimacy to prevent further deterioration.”
“It got to the point that I would make an excuse to eat my dinner in the office.
“This was to avoid listening to my husband eating as this used to provoke some intense emotions.”
Holly says: “In love, minor annoyances are often overlooked.
“However, when insignificant habits, like eating manners or the sound of breathing, become irritating, it could indicate deeper relationship issues.
“Accepting a partner’s imperfections is vital – if this becomes impossible, you need to reevaluate your presence in the relationship.”
“I feel like everything I do creates a drama – I don’t feel like I can be myself.”
Holly says: “A healthy relationship should enrich your life, not detract from it.
“If the relationship consistently brings stress, drama, and negative emotions, it may hinder personal growth.
“A partner should ideally be supportive, encouraging, and a source of positivity.”
“My wife constantly turned me down for sex, this drove me to watching porn.
“I would wait until she went to bed and satisfy myself with porn even though deep down I wanted sex with my wife.
“Over time I would choose porn over the offer of sex from my wife, this just became habit”.
Holly says: “Choosing pornography over physical intimacy with your partner is a red flag.
“If virtual fantasies become more appealing than real interactions, it’s important to understand why and address underlying issues.”
“I have spent so many years looking after my husband, and picking up after him like one of our children, that I struggle to respect him as the man I met.
“This has definitely affected how I look at him in sex.”
Holly says: “A common issue is feeling more like a caregiver than a romantic partner.
“This dynamic can diminish sexual and emotional attraction and create resentment.
“Shifting back to a balanced, adult partnership is essential for the relationship’s health.”
“I only attended couples therapy because my partner guilt tripped me into it.
“No part of me actually wanted to be there.”
Holly says: “A mutual willingness to improve is crucial.
“Problems in a relationship can often be resolved with joint effort.
“However, if one partner is disinterested or hopeless about the future, it may signal that the relationship is beyond repair.”
