DEAR DEIDRE: I THOUGHT my daughter would make an effort to come to my 80th birthday party but she says she is away that weekend.
I know I shouldn’t be upset, but she doesn’t seem to realise or care that I have health issues and may not be around for ever.
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I have been a good mother to her. She is 49.
We have a history of falling out and never really sort out the problems.
I decided to have a family lunch last Sunday and was delighted she came with her husband.
It went very well and everyone chatted together.
There were no bad feelings, which was a huge relief as our relationship feels so fragile most of the time.
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But now I’m upset with her all over again because she’s not coming to my birthday party.
Do I expect too much?
DEIDRE SAYS: The sad truth is that family get-togethers are often stressful events that adult children want to avoid.
We can’t force other people to do what we want – we only have control over our own behaviour.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
It’s far better to focus on rebuilding the relationship with her rather than berate her for her non-attendance.
