My entire life, I have hated math. I’ve never once needed to calculate the area of an isosceles triangle or solve for x in a quadratic equation. Sure, maybe I limited the various paths and possibilities that might have been available to me had I mastered derivatives, but I’ve made peace with that. Now, though, I wonder how many stressed, sleepless nights I could have avoided if I’d just written “God didn’t use math to create the universe” on every exam—and then, when my teacher failed me, cried religious discrimination.
Apparently, that was the logic of Oklahoma University junior Samantha Fulnecky. The 20-year-old—who, God fucking help us all, wants to go to medical school—received a zero on a psychology paper that cited… nothing but the Bible. So she filed a complaint with OU claiming “religious discrimination.” Her instructor, a graduate student, has been placed on administrative leave. Naturally, the OU chapter of Turning Point USA, and Ryan Walters—the former Oklahoma superintendent who wanted to give public school teachers MAGA purity tests—are both involved.
According to The Oklahoman, the assignment was to read a scholarly article on “gender typicality, peer relations, and mental health,” and then write a “thoughtful discussion of some aspect of the article.” Fulnecky’s “thoughtful discussion” essentially boiled down to kids bullying other kids is fine because God made man and woman different, so what are you gonna’ do?
“The article discussed peers using teasing as a way to enforce gender norms. I do not necessarily see this as a problem,” she wrote. “God made male and female and made us differently from each other on purpose and for a purpose. God is very intentional with what He makes, and I believe trying to change that would only do more harm.” Not only is the paper horribly written and not all argued—because, again, it only cites the Bible—but you cannot tell me sentences like “made us differently from each other on purpose and for a purpose” are not a word-count hack. This is the same trick as turning your periods into size 16 font to meet page count. (I never did that.)
Fulnecky also wrote in her essay that the idea that there are multiple genders is “demonic,” which the instructor flagged as “highly offensive.” Math is also “demonic,” and I can’t believe I never tried using that objectively correct opinion to punish my teachers who failed me for incorrectly answering nearly every advanced math problem I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“Please note that I am not deducting points because you have certain beliefs, but instead I am deducting points for you posting a reaction paper that does not answer the questions for this assignment, contradicts itself, heavily uses personal ideology over empirical evidence in a scientific class, and is at times offensive,” the instructor wrote alongside the failing grade. A second instructor for the class agreed with the grade and feedback.
After getting her zero, Fulnecky also contacted Walters, the conservative educator and chief executive of the anti-union Teacher Freedom Alliance—best known for maybe watching porn in his office over the summer before resigning as Oklahoma Superintendent in September. Walters called Fulnecky an “American hero” and said anyone involved in her failing grade should be fired.
OU’s investigation into Fulnecky’s First Amendment violation complaint remains ongoing; however, they said her flunked assignment will not count toward her final grade, nor will it affect her current academic standing. But if “because that’s what God said” qualifies as a scientific argument, then I would like the Tooth Fairy to do my taxes.
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