DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER finally finding the courage to dump my ex, who just used me as a cash machine, I have a wonderful new girlfriend – but I am scared I’ll ruin things as I can’t keep an erection with her.
With my former partner of five years, I always paid for everything, from meals out and concert tickets to expensive holidays and spa breaks.
She came from a family who were well-off and gave her lots of money, but she spent it all on jewellery, clothes and shoes.
We had lots of arguments about it because I felt so used and taken for granted.
But she had a way of always talking me round just as I was ready to end our relationship.
I finally found the courage to dump her three months ago. It was tough because her friends have spread it around that I used her, which is obviously untrue.
I am 27 and I’m with a new partner now. She is 25 and she’s great.
She is everything I ever wanted – she even offers to pay for half of everything.
We had the most amazing weekend in Bruges recently.
We had the best time except when it came to sex – I couldn’t keep an erection.
It has never happened before and I am terrified.
She says not to worry but it is always on my mind.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend means a lot to you but you got together with her quite quickly after ending your previous relationship, where you felt used and trapped.
Your new girl is saying not to worry, so do take what she says on board.
Anxiety blocks our sexual responses and creates a vicious cycle. You fear it, so it happens again.
But it is fixable, you just need to try and take the pressure off yourself.
Often the best way to sort this is to agree not to have sex for a few days, then the erections return naturally.
My support pack Solving Erection Problems explains self-help.
