Goldie Hawn revealed that she struggled with anxiety and had "little panic attacks" after landing her first big acting role in Hollywood.
During the latest episode of the podcast "Making Space with Hoda Kotb," the 78-year-old actress recalled auditioning for the sitcom "Good Morning World" in 1967, though she believed that she was too young for the role. However, Hawn said her agent called her the following day to tell her that the show's producers wrote a part specifically for her.
The "Overboard" star shared that she became "depressed" and "anxious" after hearing the news.
"And that's because I didn't want to do that. I was a dancer," Hawn explained."I was just getting my feet wet."
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She continued, "I called home. And I said, 'Mommy, you're not gonna believe this. You know, they wrote a part for me.' And then I became anxious, and I had little panic attacks."
"I realized that every time I’d go into a restaurant or a place, I’d get dizzy, and I would want to go home," she added.
Hawn recalled that while she was filming "Good Morning World," there were times when she had to "go back to my dressing room to pull myself together because I didn't know when another panic attack was going to happen."
The actress told Kotb that she decided to seek professional help and began seeing a psychologist.
"I went directly because it wasn't me," she remembered. "I mean, I was a happy kid."
"Nothing bothered me," she continued. "I was joyful… I didn't know what happened to my joy."
"I tried to fake my smile. I'll never forget that. It was the scariest thing that ever happened to me."
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Hawn starred alongside Ronnie Schell, Joby Baker, Billy De Wolfe and Julie Parrish in "Good Morning World," which ran for one season from 1967 to 1968.
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After "Good Morning World" ended, Hawn went on to become a regular cast member in the hit comedy sketch TV series "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In," which aired from 1968 to 1973. She landed her first major movie role in the 1969 comedy "Cactus Flower," earning the best supporting actress Academy Award for her performance.
While speaking with Kotb, Hawn explained that being proactive about her mental health enabled her to manage her fears and learn to be unaffected by other people's opinions of her.
"When I was anxious and frightened and scared, I went to a doctor and I spent nine years with him," she said. "Why? Because I was learning about myself. I was learning about how to forgive. And I was learning – as I grew extremely successful – how to be able to manage other people's perception of me because they didn't know me."
"When somebody says, ‘I love you, you’re great,’ that’s wonderful. But they don’t know me," Hawn continued.
"And if people say, ‘Ew,’ you know, or you get bad reviews and they’re all so mean and terrible, you go, ‘Well, that was their perception but it’s not the truth.’"
