I planned a trip on a luxury river cruise with a potential suitor I met through friends in Barcelona. He was from a municipality in Spain called Valladolid, and his eagerness to travel together was evident from the first time we met.
I was nervous about inviting him on a trip. I explained that we would be sharing a suite cabin on a seven-night cruise, starting from Vienna, Austria, and ending in Budapest, Hungary. He jumped at the idea, and I felt a nervous but excited knot forming in my stomach.
After receiving trip confirmations from both Riverside Luxury Cruises and my airline, I got a message from him saying he wouldn't be able to make it. Although he'd known the dates for quite some time, he said he couldn't take time off from work.
I had to decide whether I should cancel the entire trip or go alone.
Traveling by myself on a small luxury cruise wasn't ideal, but something inside me told me to do it (and possibly learn something new about myself in the process).
Upon arrival, I was amazed at how opulent the boat was. I opened the door to my cabin and was impressed by all the fixtures and decorations that evoked a sense of modern luxury. My room had two water-level sliding doors that allowed me to see the Danube River as though it was right next to me.
Next to the sliding doors, I noticed a bottle of white wine and two champagne flutes on a small corner desk. A rush of sadness poured over me, and all I could think about was how much I wished I had someone to enjoy a drink with.
Roaming the ship, I found a jazzy piano bar, a cozy coffee shop-like bistro, a fancy dining room with floor-to-ceiling windows, and many other Instagram-worthy spots. As the night progressed, I went to the Waterside restaurant for dinner.
I sat at a table set for two next to a window facing Vienna. Sitting alone didn't bother me, but I began to feel odd when the waiter removed the set of unused utensils.
As the food came out, I noticed that I could fully taste each dish when I didn't have any distractions. Eating alone allowed me to focus on all of the flavors, from the wine to the dessert. I put my phone down and enjoyed the view.
As we sailed on the Danube River towards the Central European cities of Dürnstein, Linz, Bratislava, Esztergom, and Budapest, I participated in a few excursions to pass the time.
The thought of going on excursions alone was a little stressful, as I knew people would wonder why I was by myself.
As I began participating in the activities, I started to feel more liberated. The loneliness I initially felt faded, and I felt like I had total control over what I wanted to do and when.
I started chatting with other folks on the trip. When I met couples from Australia, Mexico, and the United Kingdom, each spoke to me directly and willingly. I came to the realization that the conversations may have flowed differently if I had been with someone else.
It was fun meeting travelers from around the globe, even if it didn't lead to life-long friendships.
Since I was on an all-inclusive boat, I took frequent trips to the bistro for a milkshake or scoop ice cream. During multi-course dinners, I had more than two glasses of wine.
This form of over-indulgence was frequent, and it changed my perception of how much was too much. It turned out I was having too much of a good time.
The trip made me rethink my relationship with alcohol, food, and fitness. After the cruise, I made a deliberate plan to improve my health.
Traveling solo isn't the easiest, but it's worth it. Even though it felt a little weird to be alone, I was perfectly content and realized I didn't need a potential partner to make me happy.
All I needed was to be present and focus on what was right in front of me.