Love on the Spectrum is a reality show that follows a group of autistic young adults who are venturing into the dating world. Although dating is a common experience and the subject of numerous reality series, being on the autism spectrum means these cast members have unique viewpoints around this sphere of adult life.
Love on the Spectrum's Reddit community has more than 5,500 members, including some family members of the cast themselves, and like many Reddit communities, it has some strong opinions on its subject. So what do Love on the Spectrum's most devoted Reddit fans have to say, and what hot takes do they have that go against conventional thinking about the series?
Redditor PurplePlatypusBear20 makes it clear that they enjoy the show and how it has "no bs and no forced drama". However, they did find that "at the same time the show comes off a bit ... nfantilizing," whether that be the cutesy-style music or how some of the parents treat their children.
PurplePlatypusBear20 is not the only one to point out that the show can at times infantilize its participants. As a show that purports to be about empathy, and about exploring autistic perspectives, it seems the height of ableism to treat them like children.
Michael had a wonderful season 2 date with Heather at the Nan Tien Temple, but for Redditor PhriskiPhriski, Michael's presence on the show was off-putting. "how long does he stay on??? [beausc not gonna lie] i don't like him," they say.
The reasoning is that Michael gives off a "nice guys" vibe in the sense that he seems like he holds a sexist view toward women, and even is a bit entitled about dating. Although many other Redditors explained that it could be in part due to Michael not having a filter, it's concerning regardless, since this is a dating show and Michael is trying to find a date.
Speaking of Michael, his relationship with his mother Vanessa is something Redditor BellaMizer finds to be beyond troubling as a person on the autism spectrum themselves. The way Vanessa acts toward Michael "makes you wonder if she views her son as a person," they say.
One of the hardest aspects for anyone entering the dating world, no matter the age, is being able to have a sense of independence, to be able to not only understand the seriousness of a relationship, but to be able to handle that responsibility, as well. Infantilizing one's own child, as BellaMizer points out, does the opposite.
Love on the Spectrum is full of funny moments, and for many viewers that's part of the endearing appeal of the show. However, Reddit user Livingalie6969 found "some people’s reaction to this show offensive" when it comes to the show's humor. LOTS is "more of an education on how autistic people find love," and the fact that it's become meme-worthy takes away from that.
On the one hand, LOTS having these humorous moments helps viewers connect with the participants. On the other hand, if viewers are laughing at them as opposed to with them, that complicates matter, since in that sense it seems counterproductive rather than helpful to depicting their experiences.
Olivia and Christopher's singles date didn't end well in season 1, but that was not the end of Olivia's misfortunes, at least when it comes to the audience. Many in the community had a harsh dislike of her, and Redditor Finiouss came to Olivia's defense.
"None of us can truly know what she has gone through in life to make her the person she is today," they say, pointing out how wrong it is to judge someone based off of what is presented on a dating show, which gives such a small sliver of the person's life. Based on her backstory, it definitely does seem like she's had difficulties that Redditors failed to consider.
A former Redditor diagnosed with autism at 27, just before making the post, found that the set up of the show itself seems a bit exploitative, even drawing back to some of the worst treatment people with mental differences ever received. "All of this giving a vibe like a freakshow," the user says, because the show only involves autistic people.
It's definitely a bit of an extreme comparison, and a responding comment explained that sometimes it's more comfortable to date within the community as opposed to dating neurotypical people, or people without autism. At the same time, this was far from a unique concern, and it would be premature to toss it to the side.
In contrast to the love many Redditors have for the show, one Redditor felt that LOTS had abandoned what they saw as the initial premise of a documentary series: "Anyone else think the show ... has turned into just another dating show format, pretending it’s not a dating show?"
This question in turn ties back into the sense from some viewers that perhaps there could be a problematic aspect to how the show uses its premise to get ratings. If it's about empathy, then the focus should be on the experiences and how they play out, as opposed to setting it up like
For Redditor panadtk, there was something up about Mark: "Does anyone else suspect that Mark is an actor? He seems really ingenuine and his behavior and ticks are very inconsistent." However, this received pushback from other Redditors, who pointed out that not all autistic people are the same, and that it's very possible that Mark has learned to "blend in," so to speak, as a neurotypical persion.
It seems autistic people need to perform autism in order to be believed as having it, which supports the sense that for some people this show is exploitative. Mark and Chloe are still together as of today, and it's nice to know that fact. Everyone deserves to find happiness.
Jodi Rodgers is a relationship coach for those appearing on Love on the Spectrum, and at one point, suggests to Andrew that Evie is politely rejecting him by making it seem that her life is too complicated for something to continue between them.
However, Redditor cheekangoot "got the vibe that Evie was really going through something bad." and felt that Jodi made the wrong call. However, other Redditors disagreed, saying that Jodi probably had been right in her assessment of the situation. Considering this happens in all types of romantic relationships, at any stage, it may really be, as the Redditor says, "wishful thinking."
When Redditor CassandraEntendre posted that they "hate" the dislike feature and found it "particularly discourteous and irresponsible" to participants, since it's repeating their worst fears in front of them if they watch the show.
There was a flood of disagreement to this post, finding the feature fine or even a benefit to introducing each cast member, to which the original poster engaged in detail. It may be a quirky and unique way of introducing the contestants, but it does seem to emphasize these dislikes disproportionately, and considering many of them are related to sensory issues that people with autism often have, it's a little concerning.
