Most of us can cope in lockdown…but remember it’s a living hell for domestic abuse victims

DO you remember the moment when coronavirus stopped being something happening in a remote country and started affecting all of us?

Since then it is — naturally and with good reason — more or less all that we have been talking about. In fact, every aspect of our lives has been eclipsed by what is undoubtedly the biggest world crisis most of us have faced.

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But while it’s deeply distressing to read about people who die as a result of Covid-19, let’s not make the mistake of forgetting that there are other lives at risk too — in particular the children and women whose lives are in jeopardy because of domestic violence.

It is more important now than ever that these victims should not be forgotten.

Most people are struggling with a locked-down life. But those of us in a calm and happy home have no idea about the extent of the domestic abuse, both physical or mental, going on behind some closed doors.

Being confined at home with their abuser makes victims more vulnerable because there is no escape. And multiple studies have found that emotionally stressful events can lead to an increase in aggressive behaviour at home.

Researchers identified such spikes during the 2008 economic crisis and when major natural disasters have hit.

Figures already show that domestic violence is being exacerbated by the lockdown.

Refuge, the charity that focuses on fighting the problem, says calls to its helpline have risen by 25 per cent since restrictions began and website hits have increased by 150 per cent.

And in the short time since lockdown began there have been at least 16 suspected domestic abuse killings. That’s an average of five women a week.

NO ESCAPE

That is horrific. What’s equally horrific is that not all domestic abuse victims are murdered but many women have to live with systematic and frequent physical and emotional abuse, which leads to mental health disorders and sometimes suicide.

For many women in abusive relationships, going to work was their escape. The same goes for school, for kids surviving an abusive home.

Lockdown means these places of safety have been blocked and the abuse is far less visible.

A lot of victims of domestic abuse feel an unwarranted sense of shame, which is why they hide it.

But even if they want to seek help, according to Refuge, many victims may find themselves unable to report their ordeal while they are in lockdown with their abuser.

Refuge is advising women to use the Silent Solution emergency call, which allows people to alert the police with a phone’s keys without the need to speak.

In France, inspired by a similar scheme in Spain, victims have been advised to head to a pharmacy where, if they can’t talk openly, they can say the codeword “Mask 19” to the pharmacist.

That’s a great idea. The problem is what happens between reporting it and being “rescued” from it? It is all very well to tell women to escape, but what they will be asking is, escape to where?

Lockdown means places of safety have been blocked and the abuse is far less visible.

Where will police take the alleged perpetrator when they are reported? They can’t put him in jail without a hearing and evidence.

If that means he has the right to re-enter the family home, where do women and their kids go in the meantime?

While some of us are finding ways to enjoy this lockdown, for some people it is a living hell. And it is really important we don’t forget that.

We need to make tackling this issue a matter of national urgency. We must all keep talking about this, not overlook it or somehow “forget” this is happening.

We have to encourage women to try to find ways out of relationships the very first time a partner shows signs that they are abusive. If they believe there’s no way out, as many women do, we need to show them there is a safe support network.

We must develop better support for vulnerable women and we need to make the process of reporting abuse much more watertight. We need to make sure reported cases of abuse go to court.

We need more funding for domestic violence charities so they can give women the help and support needed to get out and stay out of an abusive relationship — which is easier said than done when you are in fear for your life.

One last thing. Domestic abuse needs to become as socially unacceptable as racism so that anyone — like boxer Billy Joe Saunders — who sees it as acceptable fodder for “jokes” will be shamed and shunned.

Moore heroes like Tom

AT a time when bad news is so rampant I am sure I’m not the only one who had tears in my eyes as I followed the progress of 99-year-old Captain Tom Moore, walking lengths of his garden to raise money for the NHS.

That this World War Two hero decided to do his bit in the first place is incredibly moving. It started as a little family challenge a week ago to mark his 100th birthday at the end of the month.

He wanted to raise £1,000, which they thought was a “bold target”.

How was Captain Moore to know what an incredible level of support he was going to receive from the British public, who were rooting for him with every step and who have pledged an unbelievable £20MILLION (at the time of writing) – an amount that will surely keep rising?

To Captain Moore, you are an absolute champ.

In a time when we seem to have left our elderly to die in care homes and be forgotten, he has inspired a massive show of support for this generation. It is just a wonderful story from beginning to end.

Just one thought I have had, though: Maybe fundraising website JustGiving should waive its fees?

Helena’s got ‘it’

MY goodness, but doesn’t Helena Christensen look amazing?

It’s hard not to feel inspired by how fit, healthy and, yes, drop-dead gorgeous she looks in the snaps she put on Instagram this week.

Whatever “it” is – she’s got “it”.

What’s great is that she is just one of the many over-50s looking fab and being in tip- top shape.

Now, just off for a run . . .

Revenge is a dish best served cold

LILY Cole recently told how she suffered years of abuse and bullying for having red hair.

But given the model and actress’s amazing success, revenge really is a dish best served cold.

I don’t understand why people make jokes about red hair, which I love.

It’s good to be different – personally, I’m very jealous.

Giant waste of our aid

IF one good thing comes from this pandemic, let’s hope it is that the Government comes to its senses about the amount we spend on foreign aid.

Britain gave £15.2billion to the initiative last year.

We were the only G7 nation to reach the global target of 0.7 per cent of national income. The US donated just 0.16 per cent of its GDP.

The foreign aid partly funded projects including wiping out giant mice on an island in the Atlantic and rebuilding a mosque in Egypt.

This just has to stop. The money is clearly wasted.

We need now, more than ever, for that money to be spent in the UK, on the NHS, funding food banks, social and community care, police, pensions . . . I could go on.

If we want to be compassionate and give, we should only fund it at similar levels to other G7 countries.

The amount we give, in these unprecedented times, is simply bonkers.

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