WARMING up by the side of the pitch, I heard the monkey chants begin and felt a thud on my back as one of my own team’s fans threw a banana at me.
Struggling to focus on my game, all I could hear from the East Stand at Stamford Bridge was our baying fans, shouting: ‘Go back home’ and calling me every racist name under the sun.
It was the 1980s, during the rise of the National Front, and I was the first black player at Chelsea.
And while we’ve come a long way since then, watching hooligans hurling abuse at the England team in Monday night’s match against Bulgaria took me back nearly 40 years, reminding me of the racist thugs that made my life hell.
Don’t get me wrong, there is still racism on the terraces in the UK, as we see in the abuse of Raheem Sterling and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, who had a banana thrown at him last year.
But Brit clubs are coming down hard on the perpetrators and hitting them with bans. On top of that, perpetrators are often exposed in newspapers and condemned by the British public.
Yesterday, Metropolitan Police chief Stephen House called for more prosecutions against racist hooligans, which shows the authorities are taking it seriously and we are moving in the right direction.
Over the past 40 years Britain has become much more multi-cultural, with 7 per cent of couples in mixed marriages, three members of the cabinet and 33 per cent of premiership footballers from BAME backgrounds.
Yes, there is still a way to go before we stamp out racism completely at home – just last week an interracial Irish couple were forced to flee their home after they were targeted for appearing in a Lidl advert.
But we have come a lot further than many other countries in the last 40 years.
In other parts of the world – especially Eastern Europe – I’ve seen the problem of racism growing and it’s clear from Monday’s events it’s not being dealt with.
After the game was almost halted because of the monkey jibes aimed at Tyrone Mings and Raheem Stirling, Bulgarian manager Krasimir Balakov insisted he couldn’t hear any racist chants. It just shows a total lack of respect.
Meanwhile, today five of the abusers have finally been arrested after international uproar.
UEFA need to come down hard and take a serious stance, because this is happening too often in Eastern Europe – I’ve seen similar scenes in Serbia.
Many saw Monday night’s three-step protocol as ‘pathetically inadequate,’ and suggested bosses should have abandoned the game and given points to England.
Every year there is a huge Neo-Nazi march in Bulgaria and the government’s coalition with far-right parties has fuelled the rise of race hate which finds a natural home in football stadiums.
The scenes on the terraces there are a sad reminder of the sort of abuse players like me used to suffer in Britain decades ago.
I was a young lad of 19 when I signed for Chelsea in 1981, at a time when the National Front were recruiting at grounds.
When made my debut I was shocked at the level of racism, albeit from the minority of the fans. It was frightening. It was off-putting.
Compared to the stadiums today we were close to the crowds and the name-calling and chants terrified me.
I had to keep my eyes straight ahead so I didn’t look at any. If I did, I would have reacted and jumped into the crowd like Eric Cantona did when he attacked a fan who gave him stick.
I always arrive at the ground a couple of hours before the game and, on one occasion when I was wearing a cap, I was handed a National Front leaflet outside because they didn’t realise I was black.
In those days, when wages weren’t so high, we travelled home by tube and that was so scary. I used to wait two hours just to make sure it was clear before I left.
At that time, there were 11 players and one substitute and, if I was on the bench at Stamford Bridge, I would dread warming up because the dugout was to the right of the tunnel.
A warm up meant I had to go past the East Stand where the same group of lads – my own team’s fans – gave me stick every time.
I used to wait behind the goal mouth and warm up there. When the manager called me over to the dugout I pretended I couldn’t hear what they were saying.
I was sent razor blades through the post and when it came to getting sponsorship – which was awarded to individual players rather than teams at that point – mine was the last shirt to find a sponsor.
I was never physically attacked but it came close on several occasions.
After one game at Millwall, Keith Jones and I were walking back to the coach and we were followed by a group of racist fans.
We broke into a run and we were literally being chased when the Chelsea captain, Mickey Droy – a big lad – jumped off the coach and stopped the Millwall fans in their tracks.
At times it made me want to give up my dream of being a professional footballer but I’m glad I didn’t walk away.
It took three years before I was accepted.
It was a Milk Cup game against Sheffield Wednesday when we were 3-0 down and I came on at half time, scored two out of four goals and we drew 4-4.
After that, my name started to be sung out loud. It was unbelievable.
There were a lot of supportive fans who would say: ‘Not all of us are like that. We love you’ – and my manager and teammates were supportive too.
But nothing was done about the racist chants and I wasn’t cared for as a player. Nobody really asked how was and I was just left to get on with it.
It’s been slow progress but today, through education and sanctions, we’ve come a long way.
I know Chelsea are doing everything they can to eradicate racism.
They have also put a procedure in place so that fans can anonymously report the seat number of anyone dishing out racist abuse and they will be thrown out of the ground.
Through the Paul Canoville Foundation, we also talk to kids in school and educate them to realise what racism is and how to deal with it.
Fans’ attitudes here are, on the whole, changing for the better. One spectator came up to me recently and said: “I want to apologise. I used to racially abuse you because I was following my dad and my mates, but I now understand what I was doing was wrong.”
I have to respect that and I told him I was glad he now realised that.
Younger players today live in a world where football brings riches and rewards – and they definitely don’t need to travel home on the tube anymore.
But it still makes me sad to see incidents like Danny Rose being sent off after reacting to racist abuse in Montenegro.
Instead of penalising the players, the FA, UEFA and FIFA need to come down hard and ban the clubs and the international teams that allow this behaviour.
We need to stand shoulder to shoulder on this – and stamp racism out.
